Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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