OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
