just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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