I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
