ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize