dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
