i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
