if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize