She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
