Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
