remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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