So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
