I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
