Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
