I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I deserve this hangover.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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