Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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