i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
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And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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