nutella sex= disaster
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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