she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
