What a fucking waste of an outfit
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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