I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
