she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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