he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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