i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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