dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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