Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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