The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
