don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
