Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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