Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
