Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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