it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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