used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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