She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
