I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
