What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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