She is in my trunk
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
