are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
