he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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