good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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