And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
