TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
