whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
