i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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