I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize