I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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