Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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