My first STD was from a foam party
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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