Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
