you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
