I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
