No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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