dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
