If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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