I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
