11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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