I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We talked him into tasing himself.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
