Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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