he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sober January is a disaster.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
