She said her name was "party"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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