Sober January is a disaster.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
