Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
