Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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