Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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