did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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